© 2006 SeanDietrich.com

OUR FAMILY REUNION
By Sean Dietrich

Each year, my wife and I attend her annual family reunion. It always goes the same way. We drive all the way to South Alabama to the little old house nestled in the trees where her father grew up. There is a big barbeque, and all of her uncles, aunts, cousins, nephews and nieces are there. Kids are outside chasing each other having fun. The family is scattered everywhere. Some people are standing by the grill talking, some people are out at the pond, and some people are visiting with one another indoors.   

Everyone socializes and relaxes with a paper plate of food, and a big solo cup of homemade sweet tea. The old porch is usually where Jamie and I sit. We like to sit on the swing, look out at the pond and listen to the crickets, while we hang out with family. The day is filled with conversation and laughter until the sun goes down. What a fun time!

THE HORRIBLE COUNTERFIT

What if one year someone in the family got the bright idea to change things around a bit? What if someone got the idea that the family reunion could be a little more productive? Ahh haah! What if someone organized it?!

Instead of holding the reunion at the old house where everyone grew up, it would be held at the local convention center. And instead of letting everyone sit wherever they prefer, there would now be rows of folding chairs facing a platform. People would be required to wear their finest clothing.

The oldest uncle would perform a 45-minute “monologue” onstage instead of letting everyone socialize freely. Kids would be ushered in to a special room so as not to disturb the monologue. One last thing: The feasting barbeque would be replaced with a stale cracker and a thimble full of grape juice.

People would soon grow tired of the monotonous routines, but they would probably continue to attend family reunions out of obligation. Even though there would be no time to socialize anymore. Relationships would begin to fade. No one would really feel loved or encouraged anymore. Pretty soon, the family would barely even know each other. However, everyone would know a good bit about the oldest uncle because he would be the only one who speaks while everyone else remained silent. 

Congratulations! We no longer have a family. Instead, we have an organized church!